Loss and the Tragedy- June 23, 2014

I have the recent privilege of working with a fellow colleague and friend who had recently experienced both a tragedy and a happy epiphany of sorts.    We were both working on a project to further expand our knowledge of this  wonderful professional and at the same time catching up with one another.  As we were going about the day, we began to talk about various topics.  At some point, we had that connection where everything just seemed to connect.    One minute he was talking about surfing two weeks before, I'm talking about the last show I played, and the next moment he began to talk about the loss of his sister.  It came on pretty strong because he just stopped talking and began to cry.  He informed me  that when she had died, he had not had the " time" to grief for her nor express any emotion over the loss.  He threw himself into his work gradually trying to maintain an extremely hectic schedule as well as driving to the cemetery but often turning away.  As we spoke about it more, it seemed that not only did he grow up with certain rituals of how to deal with certain situations but also to suppress certain emotions.  After his sister passed away, he received a multitude of comments from people.  Large percentage of comments made to grieving people following a loss are someone not very helpful.   It is as if someone says to a griever who has suffered a breakup of a relationship.     "He was not the right person for you" or " You' ll do better next time."  Everyone's loss is unique and their own.  Unresolved grief is cumulatively negative and can impact one's life negatively.  It is very important to address unresolved grief.