January 24, 2014 The Passion is there

I spent part of the day attending a networking meeting in Los Angeles.  As I was listening to the presentations, mingling with other therapists and turning on the charm,  I couldn't help but think about a few things as I went for my third cup of coffee.   Few words were thrown around and two popped into my head as I was pouring my creamer into the coffee.  Being present and passionate.    As therapists, we always want to be present.  It is essential to part of what makes the therapeutic relationship grow and blossom.   Passion is another word.  One person asked me what is it that drives me; lights that fire under my pant.  I first mentioned my Fender Jazz Bass Guitar.   However, when he was reaching for a more serious answer I told him  " my clients."  He looked at me with a "watcha talking about " look on his face.  I told him one particular story of  how one home visit reminded me of my passion. Years ago,  I used to visit my clients at their home and provide therapeutic services.  One in particular, a 91 year old man, was having difficulty with  life transition  issues and depression.  As we worked together to deal with these issues, we indeed formed a close bond and I was always looking forward to seeing him.   During one visit as I walked into his apartment,   he greeted me with a smile and began to cry.  When I asked him why he was crying, he told me he had finally found his purpose and was glad that he was "91 years older but a much wiser and compassionate man ".  I seconded that fact and told him that I was extremely happy that he had made this particular turn.  When  I left his apartment,  I actually began to tear up.  I felt elated not only because my client was doing better but after 13 years,  I still felt the innate fuel and passion with seeing the dynamic changes that my clients underwent.  Being able to be  passionate about something you do is something we strive to attain but in my case it is my work and indeed I love it.

January 15, 2014- Relationships

Ahhh relationships. Defined as  a romantic or sexual friendship between two people; the way in which two or more people or things are connected.  The real question is  are we really connected to the ones with whom we are with whether it is on a conscious level or whether we try hard to be connected for the sake of it.  I have heard various "ways" of how to keep the fire going so to speak even hearing the occasional one that sent me laughing all the way down 74th Street.   When I was in New York years ago,  I was in the city hanging out with some friends at Patsy's having pizza.  The discussion somehow turned to relationships.  As it got more heated, I was sitting there hoping I would quietly disappear. As it turned out, the pendulum finally swung in my direction with the burning question " So Merio,  how would you continue " to keep the women happy?" ( they never got my name right).  I explained to them that it was not a matter of making a woman happy but rather of knowing each other's expectations, keeping lines of communications open, and no matter what happens, don't go to bed angry.   They all looked at me like I shot a duck.  Finally, one of them in his Brooklyn accent looked at me and said " So all I have to do is tell her she will expect me to be home late when I'm hanging out with the guys, keep yelling at each other in order to keep the lines of communication open, and whenever I get angry, rent a hotel room.  I did not make it to the door before I started laughing so hard everybody on that sidewalk thought I was crazy.  The point is I can talk about not taking your partner for granted,  not being passive-aggressive,  and not communicating enough because I believe these are very valid points to make.   I believe that however you treat the relationship and what you put into the relationship is what you get back tenfold.  I really do miss that thin crust New York pizza.

January 4, 2013- Yes, time to push off those sheets

The new year is here...yay... You are probably thinking  " what another message about the New Year." Alas this one is a bit different. I spoke recently to a friend of mine who gave me a breakdown of his "morning" on January 2, 2014.  He described it as " a chore to get out of the bed." When I asked him why it was so difficult, he explained that he was getting used to how it really was 2014.  He went on to state that he was thinking about all the responsibilities and tasks he had to complete in the near future and within the next four months.  This lead him to keep the bed sheets over his body. I asked him to prioritize his responsibilities and focus on what was most pressing.   I suggested not to worry about items he had little control over and events that were months into the future.  He felt the weight lifted off his shoulders.  He was actually looking forward to the rest of his day. I told him to keep his head up and move on: Head to the second star to the right and straight on till morning.